So you've always wanted to know all about the ins and outs of gender, sexuality, and vegan cooking. Fine - you've never really thought about it. But now you may just have the perfect reason!

In the debut episode of Cooking with Trannies, Chef Alexa helps out a transboy who wants to impress his vegan date with some homecooking.

Join Chef Alexa (a vegan chef-in-training) as she embarks on her mission to "teach trannies to cook flavorful vegan meals" and helps Trent (of "That's My Jam" fame) whip up a dish of Vegan Spaghetti and Not-Balls (get it?).

Learn about everything from the art of chiffonade to why a transgender man who is dating a bio man would bother transitioning in the first place!

• Think your organic fruits and veggies are antibiotic-free? Think again. Yet another reason to start that victory garden.
• Wanna donate a kidney? You can choose to give one to another animal advocate, like Hillary Rettig did. Apparently you can also have one taken out through your hooha.
• Now that I've whetted your appetite: Luna bars and Uncle Eddies cookies were recalled because of the salmonella outbreak.
• Obama's not thrilled about the pb&j situation. So while he's made some questionable choices, maybe the appointment of Cass Sunstein as regulatory czar is cause for hope.
• One of the owners of Stogo isn't vegan. Do you care? I don't. As long as he respects us, unlike some other restaurateurs.
• Was anyone else a little bit happy to hear that groundhog Chuck bit the mayor? And not surprised that he's now going to be "retired"? Maybe he was pissed about the new Pedigree commercials using all those wild animals. Especially the one where the guy throws a Frisbee in the bull's face.
• Speaking of commercials, by now everyone's seen the PETA ad that was too racy for the Super Bowl. (Not that I watched; there were better things on TV.) I guess sex and football don't go together. But in the name of synergy, I'm glad someone finally removed the ad for BACON SALT from this article about how well Ellen DeGeneres is doing since she went vegan.

This week's issue of Time Out New York is all about what makes us horny, and PETA has pretty much made it common knowledge that nothing is sexier than a vegan. So it should come as no surprise that NYC's most ethically fabulous vegan Joshua Katcher was chosen as the top profile in "Flesh Direct"-- a feature in which TONY readers posed nude and art-directed their own photos.

Katcher, who chose to modestly cover his twig-and-berries with a bunch of organic beets purchased at the Union Square farmer's market, said:

The green movement is finally becoming sexy-- and it's because of food. Food is like sex: You interact with it physically, you put it in your body. I'd rather have an amazing meal than mediocre sex.

I can get with that, but what I can't really get with is the photo of the naked vet examining a cat. Weird.

Update: New York Magazine's Grub Street calls the "vegansexual" spread "ridiculous," thus managing to criticize one aspect of vegan culture while simultaneously appropriating the language of our culture for street cred. See, we are a minority!

Today The New York Times reports on the riff in the vegan community over whether or not using female sexuality to animal rights is ethical.

Vegan Vixens founder Sky Valencia, Suicide Girls founder Missy Suicide, Skinny Bitch Rory Freeman, and the everclassy vegan strip club owner Johnny Diablo were quoted as being among those who don't have a problem with the use of sexuality to promote animal rights. Sexual Politics of Meat author Carol J. Adams, chef/Veganomicon author Isa Chandra Moskowitz, and Vegan Freak Bob Torres were also interviewed and clearly aren't buying into the idea that the path to animal liberation will be paved with dropped panties.

In related news, Isa Chandra Moskowitz will soon be abandoning Brooklyn for Portland! We'll miss her and all the vegan street creds her residency lent our fair borough.

As one door opens for the Portland vegan community, another door closes. Johnny Diablo has put Casa Diablo, the world's first and only vegan strip club, on the real estate market a mere 2 months after an extremely well-publicized opening.

Keep democracy alive: Take a few moments to vote for PETA's Sexist Vegetarian Next Door.

Candle 79 patrons might recognize Michael, a snowboarding NYU student who works as a manager at the upscale restaurant. My friend Marisa, who seems to be his campaign manager, writes, "He deserves our vote if for no other reason than having served thousands of giggling girls (and guys) delectable dishes and drinks with a dashing smile. Oh yeah, and he's been vegan since he was twelve. Now that's HOT."

Portland seems to be a veritable vegan paradise, complete with an all vegan strip mall and now an all vegan strip club.

Johnny Diablo, an ethical vegan of 23 years, opened Casa Diablo Gentlemen's Club earlier this month in the site of his now closed pirate themed vegan family restaurant, Pirates Tavern-- a business that, according to The Willamette Weekly, Diablo claims didn't thrive because most vegans live at the poverty level or below.

Though Casa Diablo dancers are forbidden to wear animal products, Diablo doesn't boast the establishment's vegan status (except when courting the press). Neither its flier nor its Mexican menu mention the V-word. This time around, Diablo hopes to strike gold with an alluring combo of T&A and a smoke-free environment--things he hopes the moneyed non-vegan masses and privileged vegans with pockets full of dollar bills can enjoy.

Today the New York Times' Dining & Wine section features "I Love You, but You Love Meat," an article exploring the dynamics of relationships between veggies and omnis. Article highlights include carnisexual foodie Anthony Bourdain's description of "vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction, the vegans" as "the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit" and the tale of the omni wife of a vegetarian man who, along with their teen daughter, throws "meat parties" when her husband is out of town.

According to our August 2007 Wet Hot Sticky Sex Poll, 35% of vegans polled would have sexy time only with a vegan and 29% would sex up an omni.

PETA has has released their "2008 State of the Union Undress." As in last year's installment, a young white woman who seems like the college-going type removes her clothing while reciting bad puns and bland platitudes, followed a godawful emo song played over footage of slaughter and abuse.

It's a different intern this year, and unlike last year's stripper, 2008's girl has matching underwear. I don't believe she's a real vegan, though. She's only got, like, two tattoos. Spoiler: the punchline is "I will be fur free."


Watch more PETA videos at PETATV.com.(There's also "safe for work" version which involves floating PETA logos.)

The first time around was just too much fun. Here's what some of our vegan brethren are looking for on NYC Craigslist.

• Female nudist (who is also a good cook!) seeks a free room in exchange for hanging around naked and "some light housekeeping."
• 22-year old male Kids in the Hall (and short shorts) fan seeks "skinny pretty down for adventure" female.
• Shameless 26-year old blogger, publicist and food addict plugs his Cobble Hill room for rent on his own blog. And it's not his first time.
• Asian fetishist "seeking to date asian women under 35." Aiya, maybe he should order one at BigBadChineseMama.com and experience some traditional ass-kicking perfected by years of exotic secret Asian history.
• Kirsten, a 19-year old model, "scrumptiously seek[s] to find a man [she] can devour" and have regular hookups with on a long term basis.

Why isn't this stuff in the SuperVegan forum?!?!

Apparently ex-Senator Larry Craig's (self-)hatred of gays also extends to animals. While in Congress, he had managed to score an incredible, jaw-dropping big fat zero on the Humane Scorecard every single term since the Humane Society of the United States began keeping tabs on legislative zeros and heros for animals in 2000.

The water-closeted Idaho Republican voted against bans of recreational and commercial trapping on national wildlife refuges using steel-jaw leghold traps and the wholesale slaughter of wild and domestic American horses for foreign appetites.

He was a no-show for important bills such as making dogfighting and other animal fighting a federal felony and closing a loophole that allowed large-scale commercial pet breeders that peddle animals on the internet from not meeting the minimum standards of care required by the Animal Welfare Act.

Where was "naughty boy" Craig? I'll leave that to your imagination. Meanwhile, animal advocates should be happy that he has picked up his pants and flushed himself away from Congress.