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American Meat Institute Sues Sexpert Who Said Vegan Semen Tastes Better

This is an April Fools post. It isn’t true.

Oxygen Network sexpert Sue Johanson has been served with a lawsuit from the American Meat Institute for what the industry group calls “unsubstantiated claims based on limited or anecdotal evidence.”

In a segment of Talk Sex with Sue Johanson called Hard to Swallow (watch video above), the octogenarian sex educator tells a caller to tell her husband to “give up meat” to help improve the taste of his semen. Johanson goes on to say, “vegetarians, vegans who only eat fruits and vegetables…their ejaculate is sweet and nut-like, whereas males who eat meat, their ejaculate tastes bitter, like burnt leather.”

Though the lovable, sex-advice dishing grandma has retired, the American Meat Institute’s public affairs manager, Tonya Allen (who ironically also serves as the “chief media contact and spokesperson for AMI’s National Hot Dog and Sausage Council”) says they are seeking an unspecified sum for punitive damages for “irreparable harm to meat’s image” and “an immediate cease and desist judgement” to end reruns of the show and the online availability of the clip.

PETA vice president Dan Mathews vows to defend Johanson. “This is the same sort of frivolous lawsuit that the meat industry has slapped on Oprah and others before to stifle free speech,” says Mathews. “We’re calling on vegan men to volunteer to take part in a blind, scientific taste test study to back up Sue Jo.”

11 Comments

  1. Comment by

    vegandb

    on #

    I’m more confused about how/why the doctor knows about the taste of burnt leather than anything else

  2. Comment by

    Omni

    on #

    @ vegandb

    Our nose and taste buds work together. If you’ve ever smelled burned leather, you’ll get an idea about how it tastes.

    Thank you Sue Johanson for speaking the truth!

  3. Comment by

    jasminsinger

    on #

    Happy April Fools Day??

  4. Comment by

    Elizabeth Black

    on #

    I suspect an April Fool’s Day prank too, but it’s true that vegan semen tastes better than carnivore semen. Vegan women taste better too. :) I wrote about this in an article for Sex Is Magazine: You Are What You Eat: Foods That Improve Your Sex Life

  5. Comment by

    june

    on #

    I am curious about how this blind, scientific taste test study is going to work. Can women volunteer to participate as tasters?

    Also, it seems pretty sexist to only test men. I’m sure vegan women taste better, too!

  6. Comment by

    Janet Riley

    on #

    The only bad taste here is your April Fool’s joke. I can say with authority that this a completely fabricated claim.

  7. Comment by

    AnonymousVegan

    on #

    i feel like i have just been had. april fool’s day. ffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

  8. Comment by

    Anon

    on #

    Damn! I was about to ask how I could volunteer for the tasting when I noticed the date.

  9. Comment by

    Veganne

    on #

    Well I can say with authority that vegan semen is just a little bit less gross than the non-vegan kind. I’ve done plenty of research and, truth be told, there is definitely a difference.
    So eat your veggies boys!

  10. Comment by

    Lauren

    on #

    Hahahaha. Great post!

  11. Comment by

    SV

    on #

    I can attest to the fact that many of the women I’ve dated over two decades (while being veg) have independently comment on the difference in taste when with me.

    Body odor is much less, too (or so they all have noted)

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