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As of October, 2013, SuperVegan is no longer under active development.
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An Apology for the Inapproprite Posts of “Brownbird” Rudy “Relic”

Veganism is Serious Business

SuperVegan’s new slogan

This is an April Fools post. It isn’t true.

Today, SuperVegan blogger “Brownbird” Rudy “Relic” posted an excerpt from SuperVegan’s upcoming interview in Time Out New York. In it, Rudy complains about the “animal rights BS” that pervades the vegan community. We want to assure our readers that this interview was done without SuperVegan’s knowledge or permission, and that we don’t approve of anything contained within it. (Also, we know that honey isn’t vegan.)

We’ve read your angry emails and comments, and we want you to know that we understand and agree. To that end, we are using this post to publicly announce that “Brownbird” Rudy “Relic” will no longer be writing for SuperVegan. We are simply fed up with his incessantly frivolous blog posts, not to mention his obscenely unhealthy artery-clogging recipes. And we’re pretty sure that whatever gunk he puts in his hair can’t be vegan.

Furthermore, we recognize that Rudy isn’t the only culprit, and that this culture of frivolity has degraded SuperVegan for years. Therefore, within the coming weeks, we will be conducting training sessions with the rest of our staff, under the leadership of noted activist Bevin Cass-Campbell. Hopefully most of our bloggers can adapt, but we won’t rule out replacing them with writers who focus on serious issues. Veganism isn’t supposed to be fun. Animals are fucking dying out there and humor has no place in helping us cope with that.

We are also instituting several changes of policy that will further this end:

  • Our restaurant guide will be updated to exclude any restaurant that uses or has used any animal product at all, in any dish, ever. We support 100% vegan restaurants only, and we expect our readers to do the same.
  • SuperVegan will only be discussing food that is fat-free, low sodium, low calorie, trans-fat free, organic, local, sustainably-produced, and, of course, created in a vegan factory by workers who are vegan.
  • We are canceling our sponsorship of Vegan Drinks unless they can change it to an event in which alcohol is not available; perhaps move it from a bar to a vegan restaurant or a gathering place where pot luck dishes are available or vegan organic meals are shared or sold. Since many vegans become vegans for (among other reasons) health reasons, those who choose not to pollute their livers with alcohol will feel more welcome and inclined to participate.
  • We will also begin a weekly feature calling out notable “vegans” who are Doing It Wrong. Have you ever had a sip of wine without verifying that it was isinglass-free? Have you ever worn an old sweater made of wool? Have you ever eaten in an omni restaurant with a non-vegan friend? Have you ever sat in a leather seat in a car or airplane? Be afraid: We’re going to find you out. You’re ruining the movement for the rest of us. Our community has got to stick together.
  • To remind our readers why such a strict approach is necessary, we will begin regularly posting videos of graphic animal suffering in slaughterhouses and fur farms. Frankly, if you don’t cry yourself to sleep every night, you’re not vegan enough for us.
  • And finally, we will also of course cease the thoroughly frivolous practice of posting prank blog entries every April 1.

12 Comments

  1. Comment by

    Sonja

    on #

    I am 100% behind your decision. You guys made the right call.

  2. Comment by

    paula

    on #

    thanks guys! i really appreciate this. i hardly ever read this blog because i think talking about food and stuff is a lame way to be vegan. i spend my time on the internet reading about awesome PETA protests and watching slaughterhouse footage.

  3. Comment by

    Simon

    on #

    That Time Out thing was an April Fool’s joke? The problem isn’t that vegans take things too seriously, the problem is that it just wasn’t all that clever. Whatever you’re paying your comedy staff, it’s too much.
    To be honest, this similarly comedy-impaired response to whatever ridiculous mail/replies you may have gotten only makes you seem even more humorless. It’s great to be funny, but damn, you better be good at it.

  4. Comment by

    Al

    on #

    it’s about time you cut the shit and start taking veganism more seriously! Thanks, I look forward to the Future of SuperVegan! Vegan – Down for life!!

  5. Comment by

    veganfuel

    on #

    DUDE! I got really angry at you guys for a second. HA- good job! That was awesome.

  6. Comment by

    CJB

    on #

    Glad I read to the end.
    I just found this site today. I’m visiting NYC from the UK next week and I started to get a bit scared.
    LOL great job. Looking forward to my trip.

  7. Comment by

    Kristin Star

    on #

    “Carmine” isn’t Vegan!!!…It’s crushed beetle shells…Silk isn’t Vegan, either!…Unless I misread this article, and that was part of an April Fool’s prank, I don’t know why you would post such a thing, and that is simply untrue (unless there is a synthetic form that I am unaware of).

  8. Comment by

    Daniel

    on #

    Wow, took me a while to realize that this is a joke. (I think?/ I hope?). Notice how some posters don’t seem to get that it’s a joke, or wish it wasn’t…

  9. Comment by

    Lisa

    on #

    I’m very confused about which part is the joke…

  10. Comment by

    Ashley

    on #

    At first I thought it wasn’t a joke, but the last line made me think it MUST be a joke. And then I re-read and went back and fourth several times.

    Wow.

    Well played or…completly not funny.

  11. Comment by

    alf-redo

    on #

    as long as olivia and isa are still eating chicken i’m happy.

  12. Comment by

    mh

    on #

    I agree with Simon. Comedic timing: UR DOING IT WRONG

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