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Cat Fighting Adoption Event in Williamsburg

This is an April Fools post. It isn’t true.

The Feline Rescue Alliance of Williamsburg (FeRAW) is holding a cat fight adoption event soon, in the empty lot near Foodswings restaurant at Grand and Roebling. (The event was originally scheduled for today, but is being rescheduled because it was accidentally double-booked with an Alley Cat bike race.)

Like most shelters, FeRAW has more animals than they can find homes for, and inevitably some cats must be euthanized. The idea behind the event is to pair cats in one-on-one fights in a chicken-wire enclosed ring. Priority for adoption will be given to the winners. As it’s the first time the event has occurred, scheduling is difficult to predict; thus there’s a possibility of a battle royale finale so that all cats have a chance to participate. The shelter will hold off spaying and neutering cats until after they’ve fought, as altering makes them less aggressive. FeRAW spokesperson Bevin Cass-Campbell stated “Williamsburg and Bushwick are home to huge numbers of wandering, disheveled, dirty creatures with mangy hair. We’re hoping more of them can be encouraged to adopt stray cats.”

There will of course be gambling on the fights (and completely legal, as FeRAW is a charity). A cut of the money will go to FeRAW. “Operating expenses are hard to come by. We can’t all support ourselves via prostitution rings like PETA does,” said Cass-Campbell. Foodswings will be selling snacks at the event and has applied for a special-event beer license for the day. “Honestly I can’t imagine a better reason to party, or a better way to help local animals,” says FoodSwings’s Freedom Tripodi. I agree that this is a wonderful and creative way to raise awareness and find homes for the homeless. We’ll keep you posted on details.

10 Comments

  1. Comment by

    Roseann Marulli

    on #

    Oh my god, this is like holding a rodeo to raise money for vegan outreach! And what about the poor kitties who are declawed???

  2. Comment by

    Jason Das

    on #

    Oh, I think they have brass claws (kind of like the spurs used in cockfighting) for declawed cats. Man, declawing is so cruel.

  3. Comment by

    zacharyzachary

    on #

    i get all of my pure breds declawed, deteethed and de-tailed and they’ve never complained not once.

  4. Comment by

    Sarah_is_vegan

    on #

    I’ll admit I got to the middle of paragraph 2 before I remembered today is April 1st!! nice one

  5. Comment by

    keramel

    on #

    omg. You totally fooled me for the first 1 and a half paragraphs. Scaaary. :)

  6. Comment by

    frank language

    on #

    I worry about the mangy, disheveled creatures that are still left to roam the streets of Williamsburg.

  7. Comment by

    ariela

    on #

    haha i was about to be like “wtf??” haha good april fools joke! this one was better than the obama one considering i was believing it haha

  8. Comment by

    veganaut

    on #

    haha get out of town, i kept re-reading this like wait a tick, what the hell is going on????? haha.

  9. Comment by

    gzuckier

    on #

    somewhere, somebody’s reading this and thinking “awesome! when and where is this again?”

    (anybody here see the Death Rabbit matches on Frisky Dingo on Cartoon Network?)

  10. Comment by

    Al

    on #

    what the fuck???

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