This is an April Fools post. We flipped the whole site upside down to celebrate, but now it’s right-side-up again. Except for this post, which we’re leaving upside-down.

We’re having some trouble with our site layout today. We’ve contacted our ISP to see if they know what might have changed and why, but meanwhile we’re pulling out our hair trying to track down the root of the problem. If anyone can help point us in the right direction, please leave a comment! Thanks from Team SuperVegan.

]]> http://supervegan.com/blog/site-problems-can-any-web-savvy-people-out-there-help/feed/ 3 http://supervegan.com/blog/an-apology-for-the-inapproprite-posts-of-brownbird-rudy-relic/ http://supervegan.com/blog/an-apology-for-the-inapproprite-posts-of-brownbird-rudy-relic/#comments Fri, 02 Apr 2010 00:24:48 +0000 Laura Leslie http://supervegan.com/blog/an-apology-for-the-inapproprite-posts-of-brownbird-rudy-relic/

SuperVegan’s new slogan

This is an April Fools post. It isn’t true.

Today, SuperVegan blogger “Brownbird” Rudy “Relic” posted an excerpt from SuperVegan’s upcoming interview in Time Out New York. In it, Rudy complains about the “animal rights BS” that pervades the vegan community. We want to assure our readers that this interview was done without SuperVegan’s knowledge or permission, and that we don’t approve of anything contained within it. (Also, we know that honey isn’t vegan.)

We’ve read your angry emails and comments, and we want you to know that we understand and agree. To that end, we are using this post to publicly announce that “Brownbird” Rudy “Relic” will no longer be writing for SuperVegan. We are simply fed up with his incessantly frivolous blog posts, not to mention his obscenely unhealthy artery-clogging recipes. And we’re pretty sure that whatever gunk he puts in his hair can’t be vegan.

Furthermore, we recognize that Rudy isn’t the only culprit, and that this culture of frivolity has degraded SuperVegan for years. Therefore, within the coming weeks, we will be conducting training sessions with the rest of our staff, under the leadership of noted activist Bevin Cass-Campbell. Hopefully most of our bloggers can adapt, but we won’t rule out replacing them with writers who focus on serious issues. Veganism isn’t supposed to be fun. Animals are fucking dying out there and humor has no place in helping us cope with that.

We are also instituting several changes of policy that will further this end:

• Our restaurant guide will be updated to exclude any restaurant that uses or has used any animal product at all, in any dish, ever. We support 100% vegan restaurants only, and we expect our readers to do the same.
• SuperVegan will only be discussing food that is fat-free, low sodium, low calorie, trans-fat free, organic, local, sustainably-produced, and, of course, created in a vegan factory by workers who are vegan.
• We are canceling our sponsorship of Vegan Drinks unless they can change it to an event in which alcohol is not available; perhaps move it from a bar to a vegan restaurant or a gathering place where pot luck dishes are available or vegan organic meals are shared or sold. Since many vegans become vegans for (among other reasons) health reasons, those who choose not to pollute their livers with alcohol will feel more welcome and inclined to participate.
• We will also begin a weekly feature calling out notable “vegans” who are Doing It Wrong. Have you ever had a sip of wine without verifying that it was isinglass-free? Have you ever worn an old sweater made of wool? Have you ever eaten in an omni restaurant with a non-vegan friend? Have you ever sat in a leather seat in a car or airplane? Be afraid: We’re going to find you out. You’re ruining the movement for the rest of us. Our community has got to stick together.
• To remind our readers why such a strict approach is necessary, we will begin regularly posting videos of graphic animal suffering in slaughterhouses and fur farms. Frankly, if you don’t cry yourself to sleep every night, you’re not vegan enough for us.
• And finally, we will also of course cease the thoroughly frivolous practice of posting prank blog entries every April 1.

This is an April Fools post. It isn’t true.

Editor’s Update: Clearly Rudy made some very inappropriate statements in his interview with Time Out. We are leaving the post up in the interest of transparency, but please note that we have fired “Brownbird” Rudy “Relic” and will be making other changes to address such inappropriate anti-vegan behavior at SuperVegan.

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New York City is a bastion of imagination; a city that literally thrives on creativity. SuperVegan is lucky to be a part of that dichotomy. Next week’s Time Out New York will spotlight the blogs that make NYC special and we’re fortunate to be included!

Here’s a sneak peek at our interview!

What Makes SuperVegan super?

That we are a not just a blog, but a community too, plus we have the best New York City restaurant guide in the world. Our content is lively and fun. We try to stay away from all of the animal rights BS out there and try to focus on the enjoyable things about being a vegan in NYC. We leave all the crazy protest-type stuff to the militant goose-steppers – that’s not us.

What’s the biggest misconception about Veganism?

That honey is not vegan. There’s plenty of debate out there for and against it; thankfully the general consensus is that honey is vegan. We have more important things to attend to than such in-fighting. In the end the argument over honey makes us seem way too militant – we want veganism to be inviting.

Vegan Drinks was born out of SuperVegan right? Can you tell us about that?

Vegan Drinks is an event where like-minded vegans can get together and just be normal for once. You have a drink, learn about what others are doing in the vegan community and, if you’re lucky, take someone home to make sweet vegan love to. Ha. Seriously though, it’s about having at least one normal night a month. Veganism can be daunting sometimes.

Read more of our featured interview in next week’s Time Out New York; on newsstands April 7th.

This is an April Fools post. It isn’t true.

Former Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker appeared on last night’s Chelsea Lately to tout the benefits of his latest fad diet: freshly squeezed raw puppy juice.

Barker, a former vegetarian poster boy, ate meat for the first time in 16 years to speed the healing of a broken arm. He then gave up his vegetarian diet entirely after he was injured in a plane crash. Barker explained that his latest diet was inspired by the advice of his Los Angeles physician.

Puppy juice first made the news last month when former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin touted its age-defying powers on Oprah. According to Travis Barker, “Puppy juice is great for the skin. It gives my tattoos an awesome sheen, and it’s totally worth the incontinence. Plus I haven’t had a single herpes flare-up since I began using it.”

Asked for his opinion, New York Times food expert Mark Bittman pointed out the environmental benefits of eating an overpopulated species, but added, “Puppies are cute. Why can’t he just eat veal like everyone else?“

“It’s cruel and barbaric to kill an innocent young puppy just for its miraculous healing powers,” added celebrity chef Isa Chandra Moskowitz. “I’d only juice a puppy if I found one already dead, like on the street or something.”

However, vegan expert Kathy Freston explained, “He only juices puppies that would be euthanized anyway. And if his doctors say it’s necessary, well, who are we to judge?”

This is an April Fools post. It isn’t true.

The Feline Rescue Alliance of Williamsburg (FeRAW) is holding a cat fight adoption event soon, in the empty lot near Foodswings restaurant at Grand and Roebling. (The event was originally scheduled for today, but is being rescheduled because it was accidentally double-booked with an Alley Cat bike race.)

Like most shelters, FeRAW has more animals than they can find homes for, and inevitably some cats must be euthanized. The idea behind the event is to pair cats in one-on-one fights in a chicken-wire enclosed ring. Priority for adoption will be given to the winners. As it’s the first time the event has occurred, scheduling is difficult to predict; thus there’s a possibility of a battle royale finale so that all cats have a chance to participate. The shelter will hold off spaying and neutering cats until after they’ve fought, as altering makes them less aggressive. FeRAW spokesperson Bevin Cass-Campbell stated “Williamsburg and Bushwick are home to huge numbers of wandering, disheveled, dirty creatures with mangy hair. We’re hoping more of them can be encouraged to adopt stray cats.”

There will of course be gambling on the fights (and completely legal, as FeRAW is a charity). A cut of the money will go to FeRAW. “Operating expenses are hard to come by. We can’t all support ourselves via prostitution rings like PETA does,” said Cass-Campbell. Foodswings will be selling snacks at the event and has applied for a special-event beer license for the day. “Honestly I can’t imagine a better reason to party, or a better way to help local animals,” says FoodSwings’s Freedom Tripodi. I agree that this is a wonderful and creative way to raise awareness and find homes for the homeless. We’ll keep you posted on details.

This is an April Fools post. It isn’t true.

In a speech this afternoon in Altoona, Pennsylvania, Senator Barack Obama made a groundbreaking announcement:

I have long been an advocate of the less fortunate among us, of those who life has handed a crooked deck, the short end of the stick, an unfair deal. There are no Americans for who this is more true than the populations of our feedlots and industrial farms. It is time to end the exploitation of farmed animals on American soil. It is time to give up hamburgers as we have given up slave-holding. It is time for us to end our dependence on milkshakes as we must end our dependence on foreign oil. It is time to acknowledge that the fishing industry does damage to our oceans far beyond that of emissions from our coal burning power plants. I invite all Americans to join me in a bright future free of cruelty and exploitation, free of the blood of innocents killed only for our pleasure.

While details of his animal liberation agenda were vague, he obviously doesn’t lack conviction. When questioned directly by a reporter after the speech, Obama stated “Yes, I am now a vegan. From a personal perspective, it doesn’t hurt that people of African descent are invariably lactose intolerant.”

Longtime vegan and perennial presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich was supportive, saying “It’s wonderful to see a young politician like Barack taking a stand on such an important, under-discussed issue.” Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean was less enthusiastic: “While we support Mr. Obama’s right to stand up for his principles, this decision takes him so far away from mainstream American belief that it’s difficult to regard his candidacy as viable. The corn and soy lobby think they’ve pulled off a coup here, but he’s just lost his Super Delegates.” (It’s worth noting that the Vermont dairy lobby is especially strong.)

Personally, I’m torn. I’m thrilled that Obama’s gone vegan, but I can’t help wishing he’d won the presidency first. The only way this won’t hurt his campaign is if Hillary Clinton declares herself an atheist and John McCain comes out as gay.

Jessica and I were outraged and offended by Isa’s callous attitude. But Olivia seemed to be swayed by her arguments. Complaining of chronic incontinence and outrageous prices at Whole Foods, Olivia declared that this would be her “last vegan meal.” Jessica left in disgust, while Olivia proceeded to a nearby Popeyes to “celebrate.” As Olivia explained over her Country Chick-N-Combo Deluxe, “I just wasn’t being honest with myself. I’m tired of all the infighting in the vegan community. There’s no judgments at Popeyes!”

I later had a chance to discuss things with Jessica over e-mail: “I’m not sure where Olivia’s choice puts our relationship. I guess I still love her, but I’m not sure I can trust her anymore. I’m hurt and confused.” I think we all share Jessica’s feelings. We’ll miss you, Olivia.

Update: I realize this is hard for many of you to believe. It’s hard for me too. I’ve just posted some more photos from Vox Pop and Popeyes to the SuperVegan Flickr Pool.

This is an April Fools post. It isn’t true.

Tofutti’s newest vegan soy cheese is very meltable, trans fat-free, more easily digestible, and best of all, nearly indistinguishable from cheese made from bovine mammary secretions. The only issue which may be of some concern to some people: the new soy cheese formulation will contain casein from the nipple milk of men.

According to Steve Kass, PR for Tofutti: “Casein is a milk protein that helps the soy-based cheese melt, and since vegans do not consume casein from animal’s milk and health advocates are concerned about the partially-hydrogenated plant oils that are in Tofutti cheeses, we decided to go ahead and explore the use of casein from milk produced by male lactation.”

But why casein from male lactation instead of female lactation? Kass explains: “we are a progressive company that is concerned about the sexual politics of the commoditization of women’s breastmilk; besides just as cow’s milk is for baby cows, a woman’s milk is for her babies.” Male lactation is an evolutionary ability caused by hormonal or physical stimulus. (Watch video via Gawker.)

Kass stresses that the casein from the nipple milk of men make up less than 1% of the new Tofutti soy cheese’s formulation. And leading vegan advocacy organizations including PETA, Farm Sanctuary, Vegan Outreach, Compassion Over Killing, and Mercy For Animals have all endorsed the new nipple milk cheeses as vegan.

A test batch was used yesterday for the cheese fries and pizzas at Foodswings’ 3rd anniversary party and Foodswings owner Freedom Tripodi reported that the new cheese was well-received, though 80% of the party attendees and staff were drunk or high on something.