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As of October, 2013, SuperVegan is no longer under active development.
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Category Archive: Humor & Comedy

Here are all the SuperVegan blog posts categorized under Humor & Comedy. XML

  1. This is an April Fools post. It isn’t true.

    Oxygen Network sexpert Sue Johanson has been served with a lawsuit from the American Meat Institute for what the industry group calls “unsubstantiated claims based on limited or anecdotal evidence.”

    In a segment of Talk Sex with Sue Johanson called Hard to Swallow (watch video above), the octogenarian sex educator tells a caller to tell her husband to “give up meat” to help improve the taste of his semen. Johanson goes on to say, “vegetarians, vegans who only eat fruits and vegetables…their ejaculate is sweet and nut-like, whereas males who eat meat, their ejaculate tastes bitter, like burnt leather.”

    Though the lovable, sex-advice dishing grandma has retired, the American Meat Institute’s public affairs manager, Tonya Allen (who ironically also serves as the “chief media contact and spokesperson for AMI’s National Hot Dog and Sausage Council”) says they are seeking an unspecified sum for punitive damages for “irreparable harm to meat’s image” and “an immediate cease and desist judgement” to end reruns of the show and the online availability of the clip.

    PETA vice president Dan Mathews vows to defend Johanson. “This is the same sort of frivolous lawsuit that the meat industry has slapped on Oprah and others before to stifle free speech,” says Mathews. “We’re calling on vegan men to volunteer to take part in a blind, scientific taste test study to back up Sue Jo.”

  2. This is an April Fools post. It isn’t true.

    Editor’s Update: Clearly Rudy made some very inappropriate statements in his interview with Time Out. We are leaving the post up in the interest of transparency, but please note that we have fired “Brownbird” Rudy “Relic” and will be making other changes to address such inappropriate anti-vegan behavior at SuperVegan.

    New York City is a bastion of imagination; a city that literally thrives on creativity. SuperVegan is lucky to be a part of that dichotomy. Next week’s Time Out New York will spotlight the blogs that make NYC special and we’re fortunate to be included!

    Here’s a sneak peek at our interview!

    What Makes SuperVegan super?

    That we are a not just a blog, but a community too, plus we have the best New York City restaurant guide in the world. Our content is lively and fun. We try to stay away from all of the animal rights BS out there and try to focus on the enjoyable things about being a vegan in NYC. We leave all the crazy protest-type stuff to the militant goose-steppers – that’s not us.

    What’s the biggest misconception about Veganism?

    That honey is not vegan. There’s plenty of debate out there for and against it; thankfully the general consensus is that honey is vegan. We have more important things to attend to than such in-fighting. In the end the argument over honey makes us seem way too militant – we want veganism to be inviting.

    Vegan Drinks was born out of SuperVegan right? Can you tell us about that?

    Vegan Drinks is an event where like-minded vegans can get together and just be normal for once. You have a drink, learn about what others are doing in the vegan community and, if you’re lucky, take someone home to make sweet vegan love to. Ha. Seriously though, it’s about having at least one normal night a month. Veganism can be daunting sometimes.

    Read more of our featured interview in next week’s Time Out New York; on newsstands April 7th.

  3. What do you call a gathering of vegans? … A buzzkill. This witty observation sprouts from the genius of Doug Abel, co-founder of the Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary. “Recently I was joking around with Dan Piraro about the words used for plurals of animals–a gaggle of geese, a cackle of hyenas, a murder of crows–and I came up with a ‘buzzkill’ of vegans,” he explains.

    This punchline will be proved all kinds of wrong this Thursday at Comedy for Karma, the all-star stand-up comedy event to benefit the Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary. The tall “boyish man” Gary Gulman and sidesplittingly self-deprecating Louis C.K. return for their third time, while gritty insomniac Dave Attell makes it for a second round. New this year are two Daily Show celebs, co-creator Lizz Winstead and fake news correspondent Wyatt Cenac. Em-cee will be illustrious funny-man Dan Piraro.

    Doug elaborates on his buzzkill coinage:

    “I recall a joke from my college days in the late ’80s…

    Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A: That’s not funny!!!!

    “If written today,” Doug says, this joke “would certainly be about vegans. We have a reputation for being militant misanthropic schmucks (because we refuse to eat corpses). Actually, the version I heard just a few years ago was, ‘That’s worse than a vegan birthday party’–probably a reference as much to the dry, carob-based cakes of a decade ago as the dry, carob-based personalities that vegans are supposed to have.”

    “But the reality is that lots of vegheads have well-formed funnybones despite their Buzzkill Baselines,” he adds. “And in fact the phrase “happy vegan” kicks angry vegan’s butt by a factor of 15 on Google!”

    You too can join the giant buzzkill of vegans to benefit the animals at the Woodstock sanctuary at NYC’s Gotham Comedy Club this Thursday, April 1 (no joke). Tickets always sell out, so it’s smart to buy in advance. $50 for general admission and $100 for reserved VIP seats.

    Check out this hilarious video of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog interviewing Doug Abel about the event, scooping poop at the sanctuary, and humorless vegans.

  4. While I would never purport to being (even slightly) offended by the Vegan Boys Are The Worst song (which incidently got a lot of heat Vegansaurus recently and was the impetus of this post), I feel as a vegan boy and fellow musician that I must offer up a retort. Is this Biggie vs Tupac? Hardly.

    But, this is New York City (SuperVegan Represent!) and when you get dissed you gotta go in and put that S on the streets. (see: Jay-Z vs Nas, LL Cool J vs Canibus, 50 vs Everybody)

    Lyrics After the Jump! Continue Reading…

  5. Oh, do I love me some candy. This graph was ripped off from inspired by this. (Granted, my derivation is both glaringly rudimentary and a bit contrived – but, y’know I’m okay with that.) Please share your candy-related thoughts in the comments section below.


    Update:I called Ferrara Pan and have confirmed that Lemonheads are in fact not vegan.
    I have replaced them in the hierarchy with something equally as delicious and confirmed as vegan from various sources. Thanks to Ezekiel Grave for the tip!