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Category Archive: Religion

Here are all the SuperVegan blog posts categorized under Religion. XML

  1. Zen Burger!

    Zen Burger!

  2. It’s a widely held belief that every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. As we vegans conscientiously muddle our way through National Masturbation Month, it seems worth investigating if there’s any truth to this maxim.

    The most complete study to date uses fairly conservative metrics and measures the deaths of American kittens (any gender, up to one year old) agaist the masturbation habits of American human males. Doing the math, it’s determined that there are well over 5000 acts of masturbation for each kitten death:

    “The average American man can masturbate regularly for 22.5 years before he is responsible for the death of a single kitten. Indeed, with a life expectancy of less than 75 years, the average man will be responsible for only two or three kitten deaths in a lifetime of vigorous masturbation.”

    So have fun at your Masturbate-a-thons, but do spare a thought for the kittens. (All these links are work-safe, believe it or not.)

  3. Buddha in Lights

    Buddha don’t like killing, no matter what the reason’s for.

    Well, for a couple days anyway. In honor of Vesak (Buddha’s birthday), the government of Sri Lanka decreed that no animals could be slaughtered, and no meat could be served. The extra-big deal this year was that meat was banned in tourist hotels, not just locals’ shops and restaurants.

    Here’s some pictures of the festivities, none of which feature the crazy-awesome vegan food that I’m sure was in abundance. But I’ll take that as an excuse to trot out this years-old New York Times article about Sri Lankan food that still makes my mouth water.

  4. For many, Easter Sunday, already an exceptionally eggy holiday, is a celebration of meat as well, as it marks the end of Lent, during which many Catholics abstain from eating meat. But Slovenian President Dr. Janez Drnovšek doesn’t think such celebration is appropriate. He explained in an Easter address: “Do really so many animals have to die when we celebrate higher consciousness and try to develop spiritually? The answer is clear: of course not.” Drnovšek has been vegan since 2005, and is an outspoken critic of animal testing and the E.U.’s livestock farming subsidies. He’s also a Christian, and never balks at combining religion and animal rights. As he said in an interview in 2005, “Jesus would be turning in his grave if he knew that mass slaughter of animals is carried out every year in his name.” Now that’s something to celebrate with chocolate eggs.

  5. Kitov Vegan Cheetos

    I have a dream that one day my vegan child who does not exist and your carnivorous kid will sit down at the table of brotherhood and be able to eat the same exact crap. I have a dream that one day I will live in a nation where I will not be judged by the content of my simulated food products but by how successfully it recreates what’s left out.

    I have a dream that one day little Cheetos-eating girls and boys will be able to join their day-glo orange powdery hands with little Kitov-eating girls and boys as sisters and brothers in junk-foodilism.

    Let freedom ring from your local kosher market! Let freedom ring from the internet! And when you devour your first bag sing, “Free at last! Free at last! Thank SuperVegan, we are free at last!”

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