“Excessory Baggage” by Meryl Smith

Too much news piling up, so I’m just gonna spew it atcha:

• Jessica Simpson is “deeply hurt,” “disgusted,” and “upset” that Pamela Anderson called her “bitch” and “whore” for wearing that “Real Girls Eat Meat” T-shirt. Thankfully, Pam ain’t apologizing (though she does claim she was only “kidding” … we can let a little damage control pass, and still be proud of her, right?).
• A giraffe at a circus in Amsterdam led a jailbreak, helping 15 camels, 2 zebras, and some llamas and pot-bellied pigs escape. (They were later recaptured.) Anyone have links to pictures or video of this?
• The New Scientist tells us that “Rhesus macaques have been shown to possess yet another numerical talent once thought unique to humans – they can simultaneously count audible beeps and dots on a computer screen.” Good to know, but can we stop experimenting on them, please?
• Ryan from VegBlog points us to a list of “The 20 Healthiest Foods for Under $1” and notes “17 of the top 20 (and 9 of the top 10) are vegan. Show this to the next dummy that says, ‘Being vegan is too expensive.’”
• The Food Fight! Grocery blog continues to be your go-to source for headlines such as “Dog Meat Off the Menu for Olympics”“, “Woman Shoots Herself While Trying to Kill Mice”“, “Woman’s fingertip bitten off at meat market“. Go read. And buy some unhealthy vegan food that costs over $1 while you’re at it.
• Lewis Cicero of Fairfield, Connecticut faced either execution or declawing after scratching some of his human neighbors in 2006. His guardian Ruth demanded a trial on criminal charges. The case was just dismissed, as Lewis has kept out of trouble under house arrest.
• The Discerning Brute checks in with some stylish non-silk ties, non-leather martial arts gloves, non-wool post-consumer recycled suits, and more.
• Boing Boing Gadgets points us to this fake Louis Vuitton Piglet Dog purse by artist Meryl Smith (see picture). I don’t know where she falls on animal issues, but a lot of her work is animal-related, and her sad greyhound piece The Last Race is pretty affecting.

• Friday on Oprah: Taking a cue from HSUS, Lisa Ling uses a hidden camera to investigate the cruelty of puppy mills. (When did Ling become the reporter of all things freegan and animal-related?)
• The San Francisco Art Institute has taken down an exhibit that featured videos of six animals being bludgeoned to death. Unfortunately, it did so before the public forum was held because of death threats to its staffers. Go hypocrisy!
• The Canadian seal hunt began earlier this week.
• The Rotterdam Zoo is making all of its animals go veg, for health reasons. Even the carnivores…?
• Meanwhile, in Germany, apparently ”zoo” is synonymous with “factory farm.”
• In another giant step for I don’t know what, scientists are hoping to train fish to “catch” themselves. Because why do the harvesting, too, when you can confine your actions to killing and consuming? (At least then maybe there’d be no call for shows like this.)
• And because I can’t handle any more depressing stuff today: Enter your film, poem, needlepoint, etc., in NAVS’ 19th Annual Art for Animals Classic. If your piece wins, it will grace National Anti-Vivisection Society materials (plus you’ll get some cash). Click here for the PDF entry form and rules, or call 800-888-NAVS (6287). The deadline is May 2.

The Dutch will do all sorts of things to sheep.

The New Zealand Centre for Human-Animal Studies has released “Cruelty-Free Consumption in New Zealand: A National Report on the Perspectives and Experiences of Vegetarians & Other Ethical Consumers” (108 page PDF). It profiles 157 people (I know, but that’s probably a big percentage of the population down there) on how and why they live animal-friendly lives. Stuff has a report on the sex-related findings and the coinage of the word “vegansexual” for people who will only fuck other vegans.

Did you notice how I avoided making any sheep jokes in the New Zealand story? Here’s why: In more disturbing sex news, a man who raped a sheep in the Netherlands had his case thrown out of court, as the sheep was unable to testify that she “didn’t want to have sex and had suffered emotional stress.” Bestiality is only a crime there unless it can be proven that the animal didn’t want to have sex. It sounds like the Partij voor de Dieren has some work to do!

Dutch falafel chain Maoz opened their first New York City location today, on the already very veg-friendly Union Square.

Their slogan “Feel Your Falafel” gives me chilling thoughts of Bill O’Reilly, but the staff is friendly and the food is very good. The falafel itself is flavorful, tender, and well above average. After you get your sandwich, there’s a large selection of self-serve toppings – pickles, cucumber salad, roasted cauliflower, dairy and vegan coleslaws, carrots, baby eggplants dyed in beet juice (really), olives, several fresh hot sauces, and much more. The trick is they don’t leave very much spare room in your sandwich, so you can’t really load up on the condiments.

We’ve added Maoz to our restaurant guide. If you eat there, don’t forget to leave a review! (Oh, and if you’re wondering, the name “Maoz” is pronounced like the condiment, not the Chairman.)

Update: Or maybe it is pronounced like the Chairman. I’ve heard both with authority from staff.

Marianne Thieme, leader of the Party for Animals

In recent election results in the Netherlands a party by the name of Partij voor de Dieren (Party for the Animals) managed to gain 1.8% of the vote, and soon will have two seats in Parliament, the NY Times reports. Since its founding in 2002, the party has rapidly gained popularity, and is now making history as the first party (in the world) to campaign for animal rights as an official part of government!

Their website reads: “The party was founded to promote an awareness of the way in which humans treat animals and to emphasize that this needs to change – in the interest of not only the animals themselves, but also humans and the environment in which we all live.”