Have you seen the latest Hummer ad?

Two men appear at a supermarket checkout. Next frame: A giant package of something, oh, make no mistake. Across the top, in giant letters: TOFU. The producers of this one really wanted to make sure you see it, too. As it is scanned by two hands, it takes two conspicuous swipes.

Next scene, tofu man, looking pale and full of self doubt, looks over at the next man in line, who appears confident and assured. Tofu man looks down at what this guy might be buying: A rack of ribs and two or three other kinds of cellophane-wrapped meats and other types of man food.

Tofu man is sunk. But luck would have it as he looks up. He spies a display copy of a brochure for the new Hummer. And no, we don’t see a light-bulb shine above this vegetarian’s head, but we could have.

Within seconds, tofu man is seen revving up his car (vrooom), then being handed the keys to a new Hummer in the showroom, then shown in close-up driving his new gas guzzler, relieved we assume, and looking like he probably has a pretty big penis after all.

Big lettering overprint:
“Restore your Manhood”

My only question is as this point, where is the vegetarian anti-defamation league when we need it?

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