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Long Vegan’s Journey Into Night

My friend Insufferable Vegan, the only person I have ever been responsible for helping, in any part, grow Vegan, who has only been Vegan for a wee 20 months, and is already more Super of a Vegan than I am, took me on a Vegan Field Trip.

At 10:30 am my anonymous friend collected me. He even showed me a sweet shortcut in my own neighborhood I never even knew which was good because there were several detours along the way: We had some french fries with little plastic red forks at a K-mart in Covina that has a Nathan’s in it and hung out with the other people that frequent the Kmart Nathan’s at 11 am on a Thursday. Surprisingly, they didn’t seem to be on a Vegan Adventure.

I bought an actual record album at Rhino Records in Claremont where I also photographed these orange flavored chicken suckers that are not orange chicken flavored.

We randomly spotted Covina Tasty, which claims to be the very first all vegetarian fast food in America, (there might have to be a showdown with Orean’s for the title). Though it was a compelling argument for a lunch break, we kept on keepin’ on.

We did need to eat (again) though, so we sought out The Press Restaurant in hopes that their veggie burger would be a contender in the VegLympics. It was a pretty good full-size specimen of the Garden Patch variety, but not deserving of it’s own full-length post.

Obviously we needed to have dessert so we got ices at Handel’s in Upland. Check out this mountain of Sour Green Apple and Watermelon-ness!

Then we actually finally really made it to our destination: Viva La Vegan Grocery, the Earth’s largest most amazing all-vegan store. This place is so amazing it’s uh-mazing. It has just doubled in size, too, so it’s about to be twice as uh-mazing, making it uhh-maazing!

VLV has everything from fresh produce to frozen fish hams (what is a vegan fish ham?!) and I bought a hundred dollars worth of it.

I got a cupcake that was eaten before the night was over, half a chicken, three kinds of Dillos, farro, a Halo S’more bar, candy bars x3, two different kinds of TVP, Justin’s peanut butter cups, drumsticks, butterscotch chips, butterscotch pudding, three different Dr. Cow’s cheeses, a Dr. McDougall’s Asian entree , two wedges of Daiya, three different Stonewall’s Jerquee’s, English Toffee, an Upton’s Tamale, some Healthy Top, and Bacon. Y’know, all the important stuff.

We shopped so hard for so long, that not only did we not make it out in time to make it to our last stop on the tour, but we got all sorts of insider scoop and samples from the lovely staffers there. I can’t wait till they open one or two more stores closer to me (lookin’ at you Loz Feliz!) so I can get fat and bankrupt! In the meantime, 3,000 more products are about to hit their new shelves, so you might want to clear out your cupboards and go, or ask Mr. Insufferable, who is quite tolerable, to take you.

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