Do you smell that? Probably not, you’re sitting at a computer. You’re either bored at work or staying up for no viable reason – really, dude, it’s probably time to go to bed, besides, it’s late.
I, on the other hand am sitting down to a fresh baked pretzel; one I made. It’s the kind you’d get at a mall if “the mall” weren’t so beneath you (and the ones they sold at the mall were actually vegan).
I like making stuff from scratch. It gives me a hollow sense of accomplishment (otherwise crying myself to sleep at night would seem worse than it actually is).
But, whatever, pretzels are good, and you love them. Here’s a recipe to make while you walk around with your nose in the air.
Too Cool For Mall Pretzels
1 1/4 Cup Warm Water
(heaping)1/2 tsp of active dry yeast
1 TBS Brown Sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 Cups Unbleached All Purpose Flour
2 Cups Warm Water
2 TBS Baking Soda
2 TBS Soy Butter Melted
Lightly mix your Warm Water and yeast. Add Brown sugar and salt. Lightly stir to combine. (if it doesn’t get all foamy; something is not working).
Add your flour and knead the dough until it’s fully incorporated, smooth and elastic.
Let rise for 45 minutes at room temperature.
Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
After it’s risen. Mix your warm water and baking soda in a large (or longer shallow) bowl.
Pinch off some dough and roll it into a long rope. Make a pretzel shape. Dip the dough into baking soda bath (drip dry) and place on greased baking sheet.
Allow the pretzels to rise for 15 minutes at room temperature. Bake a 450 degrees for 10 minutes until golden brown. Brush with melted soy butter, sprinkle with salt and then, eat dude!