The National Milk Producers Federation is urging the FDA to require that plant based milk-alternatives not be allowed to brand themselves as milk. According to the NMPF only beverages derived from “mammalian lacteal secretions” (ewww!) should be allowed to carry the term milk. (They even have a snazzy Facebook page too!)
That’s cool with me. I mean, really, the average consumer is sooooo obtuse; they could never see a distinction between ”milk” made from a bean and “milk” stolen from a baby cow. Besides, have you ever been in a supermarket? It’s like diorama of monotony where differentiating between a can of chickpeas and laundry detergent is like navigating the nuances of financial derivatives.
Thank you National Milk Producers Federation with your superhero-sounding name for making things easier on the dense consumers of the world; it’s because of you that America is great!
So what should we call it? How about something easy like Soy Juice or Liquid Soy? NotMilk is pretty good, but it lacks marketability. Soyzurp? Edamammory? Soyz II Men?
Too Late! Looks like Good Day New York’s Rosanna Scotto may have hit the nail on the head: “Soy Jizzum!”. (Video Below)