Did you hear about the predicament Lula and her sweet apothecary have gotten into? It is MOST unfortunate. I don’t even live in New York anymore and my heart is dragging on the floor. If I was still in NYC, I’d seriously consider buying out the rest of their stock, renting a walk-in freezer somewhere and rationing it out by the spoonful. But seeing as I live in LA now and visit NY, here’s a list of things I’d rather have happen to NYC instead of Lula’s closing:
- Every time I need a taxi, it started raining five minutes ago.
- All the ATMs become Gaps again.
- Every day is trash day.
- Every street is like Broadway in Soho during the holidays.
- Every other street is like Canal Street.
- The 2nd Avenue subway line takes another 100 years to build.
- For every one cockroach or mouse or rat I see, I see the other hundred I don’t.
- I have to talk to every single person who approaches me with a branded windbreaker and a clipboard (the British call them”Chuggers”– charity muggers) asking me if I “have a minute” or “like comedy.”
- Every time I try to walk through Union Square there’s a farmer’s market AND a holiday mart AND a protest of something AND a drum circle.
- Sleep below tap dancers and above a food-serving establishment whose smell permeates everything.
- Every street I try to cross has a giant lake of still water surrounding it that is too big to jump across.
- Get caught in the middle of a West Side Story like gang war between the hipsters of Williamsburg and the hipsters of Park Slope set to math rock beats.
- Be forced to shop at Whole Foods during peak hours only. Ditto Trader Joe’s.
- Every time I reach the subway platform I realize I have JUST missed the train.
- Your turn! What would you rather have happen than have a Lula-less city? Leave a comment.
So please go support Lula’s for me, while you still can!