Travis Barker: “Puppy juice has changed my life.”
Former Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker appeared on last night’s Chelsea Lately to tout the benefits of his latest fad diet: freshly squeezed raw puppy juice.
Barker, a former vegetarian poster boy, ate meat for the first time in 16 years to speed the healing of a broken arm. He then gave up his vegetarian diet entirely after he was injured in a plane crash. Barker explained that his latest diet was inspired by the advice of his Los Angeles physician.
Puppy juice first made the news last month when former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin touted its age-defying powers on Oprah. According to Travis Barker, “Puppy juice is great for the skin. It gives my tattoos an awesome sheen, and it’s totally worth the incontinence. Plus I haven’t had a single herpes flare-up since I began using it.”
Asked for his opinion, New York Times food expert Mark Bittman pointed out the environmental benefits of eating an overpopulated species, but added, “Puppies are cute. Why can’t he just eat veal like everyone else?“
“It’s cruel and barbaric to kill an innocent young puppy just for its miraculous healing powers,” added celebrity chef Isa Chandra Moskowitz. “I’d only juice a puppy if I found one already dead, like on the street or something.”
However, vegan expert Kathy Freston explained, “He only juices puppies that would be euthanized anyway. And if his doctors say it’s necessary, well, who are we to judge?”