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Veganeetos

Kitov Vegan Cheetos

I have a dream that one day my vegan child who does not exist and your carnivorous kid will sit down at the table of brotherhood and be able to eat the same exact crap. I have a dream that one day I will live in a nation where I will not be judged by the content of my simulated food products but by how successfully it recreates what’s left out.

I have a dream that one day little Cheetos-eating girls and boys will be able to join their day-glo orange powdery hands with little Kitov-eating girls and boys as sisters and brothers in junk-foodilism.

Let freedom ring from your local kosher market! Let freedom ring from the internet! And when you devour your first bag sing, “Free at last! Free at last! Thank SuperVegan, we are free at last!”

7 Comments

  1. Comment by

    Tiffany

    on #

    Does anyone know what the “cheddar chesse flavor” is?

  2. Comment by

    Patrick Kwan

    on #

    Woah!!! This sounds more exciting than the Chocolate Jesus! Hallelujah! (Or however the hell you’d actually spell it. Amen!)

  3. Comment by

    dustinbuster

    on #

    I have a different dream. Goes something like: I dream of a day when all varieties of Cheetos do not exist; a day when garbage like this is something people sit around and make fun of, while eating real food that wasn’t made on machines and developed with the intention of making omnivorous and herbivorous asses larger than the universe intended. Then, I think, we can say we are “free at last.” But not until.

    It’s a sad day, to me, when we judge how well veganism is “coming along” in society by the number of disgusting products that aim to imitate everything gross about “modern society.” I want a vegetable revolution, not this crap. Barf.

  4. Comment by

    gaijingirl

    on #

    Wait…you mean there’s actual cheese in Cheetos?? :))

  5. Comment by

    sewster

    on #

    I thought the invention of Tings made Cheetos unnecessary! Nutritional yeast, baby!

  6. Comment by

    karenzinc

    on #

    Well with kids, and Peer Pressure, it does help if there’s a reasonable alternative to what their friends are having..

  7. Comment by

    jennifer

    on #

    where can i find those vegan cheetos at or can i order them on line please let me know, thank u

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