Field Roast sausage, looking dangerous.
Never in my somewhat-wild dreams did I imagine searching “vegan” on the beloved and sometimes scandalous Craigslist would yield so many capital letters.
YOU CAN BE ANY AGE AND ANY RACE. A UNIQUE GIG. PRIVATE AND DISCRETE. EVENING/WEEKEND ARE AVAILABLE. REGULAR BASE AVAILABLE. PLEASE REPLY WITH YOUR AGE, HEIGHT/WEIGHT. PICTURE A PLUS. HIGH PAY. $200-$400 EACH TIME.
Unique, perhaps; mysterious, most definitely. Is the sex – er, I mean, casual encounters industry seeking a more sophisticated (and sexy) crop of escorts by going veg? Is someone seeking models for rapidly-photographed sessions of hide the Field Roast smoked apple sage vegan sausage? (I’d eat it, if I were you – those things are tasty.)
What are your theories? Anyone gutsy enough to respond? Anyone unspeakably offended? Discuss!