A recent New York Times, regarding the possible dilemmas that may arise with an all-vegan wedding got me thinking, and I’ve decided to make a pledge.
When I get married, I promise to serve every type of food that has ever existed since the beginning of time to assuage any of the hurt feelings that could arise if I decide to have an all-vegan menu; I’d hate for someone to have to give up meat for one meal. After all, the Vikings in attendance might be upset if I didn’t think of their feelings and serve the food they’re accustomed to.
I’m quite sure the people that know me really well (y’know, those who would presumably be at my wedding) have come to learn that I’m just Mr. Vacillator when it comes to my ideals. All those all-vegan-all-the-time events I’ve had in the past have just been part of my “quirks”. Rest assured omnivorous friends; you won’t be left out – it’ll be all about you.
Thank you New York Times for choking a non-issue until it turns violet. This is the kind of stuff that makes me wanna dance with somebody; to feel the heat with somebody.
(*Uh. Maybe. Y’know. Vegans)




13 Comments
summer
on #“ideals” is right; having a vegan wedding is *hard*!!! you better give up your weekends now in order to make fake flowers.
JanetG
on #The New York Times Style section depends on people seeing these big “Weddings and Celebrations” as significant events for non-participants.
Melissa Bastian
on #And to think – *I* went and had an all vegan wedding. Like as if it was about me and the groom or something. Man, I am such a selfish twat. Everyone said they enjoyed the food and gorgeous cupcake tower and giant table of booze… but probably they were all just lying so I wouldn’t know how much they really hated me.
Shandra
on #Wow, my favorite part is at the end where the guy sneaks out to get food, gets caught, the groom is totally nice about it despite it being incredibly rude to leave a wedding, and then to this day the guy holds a grudge. Gosh, how selfish of the groom to not only want to be able to eat at his own wedding but also be nice when someone basically says “Screw your special day.” Those vegans…
Mirkat
on #I can’t believe the people who are convinced a meal without meat can’t be “real food”–and the rudeness of those who actually refuse to even try their food if they know they’re being served a meatless menu. Right–they “have to” stop off at a fast-food place afterward so that they can rectify the severe meat deficiency they developed by going meat-free for an hour or so. And somehow, the marrying couple are the “rude” ones. How many of us have attended receptions where the veg*n option is a plate of side dishes?
Telephonoscope
on #My husband and I didn’t have a wedding, but we were forced.. I mean convinced to have a reception. I insisted on a vegetarian wedding at the most, if not vegan, and my mother in law still sneaked in freaking chicken! I guess I can be grateful that the venue made two pasta dishes, one with the chicken and one without. I was so angry… wait I’m STILL angry. At least I can have a little satisfaction that the venue would only serve meat if it was organic, free-range, etc etc. If she didn’t want to pay the price for special chicken, she shouldn’t have ordered it.
What still boggles my mind was how concerned she was about the people who were invited to the reception feeling comfortable. She didn’t care that *I* wasn’t comfortable. That made me feel awesome!
reillyowens
on #Whoops. Felt is made from wool and is definitely not vegan. Why not use real flowers?
sewster
on #We had an all vegetarian wedding (only 1 app had dairy, so it was 99% vegan). You gotta’ refuse!!! when people push all that crap about “accommodating” everyone else’s meat eating needs at your celebration. It’s yours. And it won’t kill them to go without dead stuff for 1 meal.
amethystmarzipan
on #@reillyowens: clothing grade felt is *usually* made of wool. Craft store wool (the sort you’d use to make flowers) is nine times out of ten not. They probably didn’t want to use real flowers because of the tremendous waste of natural resources that comes with growing, harvesting, and shipping flowers.
I am so sick of defending the choice to have a vegan wedding. I am having one, and everyone is going to shut up and like it. Candle 79 makes damn good food, and if you’re an omni and disagree, then you’re just the most closed-minded sunnuvabitch ever who refuses to let himself think a vegan meal can be delicious. They’re who I’m having cater my wedding, and they make delicious, hearty, creative food that just happens to be made of plants. The same can be done by anyone though! I just don’t get how people can be so brainwashed as to think that there isn’t any way to have a filling meal if a slab of meat isn’t in it.
amethystmarzipan
on #Sorry, I meant to say Craft store felt is not usually made of wool!
Sanday
on #My first post! :)
I don’t think its possible to have a big vegan wedding.
If you want to have a small get together thats fine. To me being vegan isn’t just about animals. It’s about the world. I feel like its not vegan to rent a big place or to have a big cake, or to have diamonds or all the parts of a wedding that is just throwing cash away.
Not to mention diamonds! Which are the worst thing in the world. Children die to get them.
I feel like the best thing to do, is to just not do it.
Not to mention its selfish to get married in parts of the world, where there is no marriage equality? We need to start being activists and stop conforming for our own selfish needs.
fatvegancommie
on #I did an all vegan wedding – 1/2 middle eastern (baba ganoosh, hummos, grape leaves, etc) and 1/2 italian – grilled veggies, pasta with red sauce, brocolli.
I augmented with homemade creamy pesto sauce (i ordered a tray of plain pasta to put it on) and vegan sausage and peppers.
And I insanely made 120 cupcakes. this last part I don’t recommend.
Sanday
on #Thats nice you had such a gluttonous time at your wedding.
While people are starving across the world and other people can’t share the right of marriage. I don’t support the institution of marriage until everyone has the same rights. It’s not a vegan thing to be selfish.