The Nebraska Soybean Board's latest commercial wants you to know the truth about meat. Oh, no, that's not right. They want you to eat meat so they can profit, because, as they say in this commercial, 98 percent of domestic soybean sales are purchases from the US meat industry.

The commercial makes no effort to hide the soybean farmers' agenda. After an intro segment, it begins: "From across our heartland, soybean, livestock, and poultry farmers are working together to feed the world."

We get the usual appeals to patriotism ("heartland"), community ("working together"), and an unquestionable common goal ("feed the world"). So, as united Americans, the soybean and meat farmers are going to stamp out hunger. Brilliant!

But let's back up. Why don't they tell us how much soy it takes to feed a cow (whose natural diet consists of grass), and then tell us how many humans you could have fed with that? Also, perhaps they could let us know how feeding an animal an unnatural diet of soy (and corn) affects its immune system and actually costs even more because they have to dose it with antibiotics to keep it healthy? Let's not forget the costs to human health of eating animal meat. And while they're analyzing the true cost of meat production, why not tell us the costs to other species as the soybean farmers mow down animals' natural habitats to make space for more soybeans?

"We need to do a better story of telling the benefits" of meat consumption, they say. I didn't hear about a single benefit of meat consumption in this commercial. I did hear plenty about the industry's "commitment" to human health and animal welfare (What??), but not a single representation of benefits. Show me proof that eating animals is good for my health or their welfare. C'mon, Soybean Board, show me what's really going on behind the curtain -- the animals as they're typically raised and slaughtered -- and try to tell me that this is humane and healthy.

The Soybean Board is clearly looking where the money is, and right now that's in the meat industry. But hey, I love edamame, tofu, and tempeh, just to name a few delicious soy-based foods. Let's remind the Soybean Board of the truth about the costs and "benefits" of meat production and consumption, and let's let 'em know that we're happy to eat soybeans, but not in the form of meat. Write them at info@nebraskasoybeans.org.

Babeland's Jaguar Harness is now vegan, according to Shewired. No leather necessary for super good times!

The insanely timely hilarious geniuses at Vegansaurus gave us a recipe for a vegan version of KFC's heart-clogging, rotting body parts, media darling sandwich, the Double Down. Oh my god, Rudy, get your deep fryer.

As of this week, Mondays are vegetarian days in San Francisco, the Board of Supervisors declared in a resolution Tuesday. Yaaaayyyy! Whatever it means in practice, we like the theory and hope it means more delicious veggies for all.

Since life isn't all fried seitan and Meatless Mondays, and because you need something to show your friend who doesn't understand that egg farming causes suffering, we give you the Humane Society of the United States's latest undercover investigation, released Wednesday. Warning: you might puke.


In restaurant news, Souen on 13th Street will close for several months starting next week to renovate, so if you like your hippie food served in a hippie restaurant, go eat there right now, hippie.

'sNice Soho will open NEXT WEEK so get in a sandwich-y, coffee-y mood with me!

Oh, and in other 'sNice news! Two of their employees were stabbed last month (shocking and horrible, i know!), so 'sNice in the West Village is having a benefit to support them on Sunday, April 11, 6-9 p.m. $10 at the door. There will be vegan pigs in a blanket! And me! I will be there!

Enough about restaurants. Registration for the Let Live conference in Portland is open. June 25-27 at Portland State University. Speakers will include Gene Baur, Josh Hooten, Andy Stephanian, Isa Moskowitz, Jasmin Singer, and others TBA.

You read that right: an All-U-Can-Eat Vegan Dessert Bar to benefit the Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary is happening next Friday, April 16 at New Haven's all-veg Fuel Coffee shop. $15 in advance or $20 at the door gets you access to: cupcakes, cakes, cookies, brownies, pies, cheesecakes, tarts, um, donuts, truffles. For a complete goody list and to buy advance tickets scroll down here. Um, did I mention it's All you can eat?!

Organized by local Little Vegan Monsters Anthony and Lourdes, everyone in New Haven will be there. New Yorkers don't have to feel deprived. You can easily join the orgy - New Haven's just a 2 hour train ride from Grand Central and Fuel's a quick walk from the station.

When: Friday, April 16, 6-9 pm
Where: Fuel Coffee, 516 Chapel Street, Wooster Square, New Haven, CT; (203) 772-0330

How do I get there from NYC?
Take Metro-North from Grand Central to New Haven-State Street Station. That lets you off at the corner of State Street and Chapel. Walk out of the station, take a left on State then immediate left on Chapel. Cross the bridge over the train tracks and walk about 2 blocks. You'll pass Wooster Square on your left, Fuel Coffee will be on your right at the corner of Chestnut Street. Optimal trains: 3:48 from GC, arriving State Street at 5:44, or 4:12 from GC, arriving State Street at 6:06.

You can also get off at New Haven-Union Street which is the main train station. It's an easy 10 minute walk to Fuel. (Just googlemap for directions.)

Click here for train schedules and fares (approx. $30 round-trip).

There's a lot of noise on the internet today about Christopher Cox's "Consider the Oyster" which carries the slug/page title "It's OK for vegans to eat oysters" and the subhead "Why even strict vegans should feel comfortable eating oysters by the boatload."

Cox's basic thesis is that oysters don't feel pain and that commercial oyster production/harvesting is far more ecologically friendly than most other industrial food production. He goes out of his way to say that oysters are sustainable for food use in a way that clams and mussels are not. He gets a qualified endorsement from Peter Singer. One can certainly argue with these things, but he's basically done his homework. Except for seeming to have no clue what it means to be vegan.

When I became a vegan, I didn't draw an X through everything marked "Animalia" on the tree of life. And when I pick out my dinner, I don't ask myself: What do I have to do to remain a vegan? I ask myself: What is the right choice in this situation? Eating ethically is not a purity pissing contest, and the more vegans or vegetarians pretend that it is, the more their diets start to resemble mere fashion—and thus risk being dismissed as such. Emerson wrote, "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."

The only way for me to read this is that Cox doesn't know what "vegan" means. He never became a vegan, and needn't worry himself over remaining a vegan. Because of our very consistency (foolish or not) there's no gray area for vegans when it comes to eating animals. Cox is trying to be ethical about his consumerism, and that's great. I just don't understand how the hell anyone thinks the way he's going about it can be described as any form of veganism. It isn't.

Vegans do not knowingly/willingly/actively consume or purchase any part or bodily product of an animal that was taken from a living animal or for which an animal was killed. (I know that's a lot to pack into a sentence, but there it is. End of story.) You can argue that this isn't the most constructive approach to ethical consumerism, as Peter Singer does. But Peter Singer does not claim to be vegan, nor does he endorse the point of view that eating oysters can ever be vegan.

"This is the book I wish I had had to give the meat-eaters in my life so they would understand me, and how they and I could have such a different perspective on the same issue." This statement from Melanie Joy about her new book, Why We Love Dogs, Eat Pigs, and Wear Cows: An Introduction to Carnism, might seem a little forward, but she's right.

Before you roll your eyes and shrug carnism off as another "ism," let Melanie explain it to you, which she does so eloquently in the interview below.

I will tell you that almost ten years ago, while I was editor of Satya Magazine, Melanie Joy submitted an article introducing the concept of carnism. She was working on her Ph.D. in psychology at the time and it was a little earnest and ambitious. Still, the editorial staff was intrigued and persuaded by her argument and we published it. I really wasn't sure where the idea would go from there. Back then, she was arguing to restructure language. Now she's talking about transforming our culture. And, again, she's right.

Why We Love Dogs, Eat Pigs, and Wear Cows is an elegantly-written description of why people eat meat. The argument is subtle but her writing is very approachable, with a friendly tone and low on the use of academic jargon. For me, it's the most thought-provoking book about how animals are perceived culturally since The Sexual Politics of Meat by Carol Adams (which had a big influence on me). I will leave it at that and let Melanie take it from here...

SV: Have you had any really surprising responses to your book so far?
MJ: Yes. I've been on a couple of radio shows in the Southwest--"cattle country"--and the reception has been surprisingly positive. Carnists and hunters have called in saying they agree with the precedent of the book. They care about animals too and are against factory farms. A lot of mainstream meat-eating readers have responded positively.

Why DO we love dogs, eat pigs, and wear cows?
Because the invisible system that I call "carnism" conditions us to love certain animals and eat others. Carnism teaches us not to feel when it comes to the animals we consume. Our natural way of responding to other animals appears to be based on empathy. One way we can see that: meat-eating societies around the world eat only a handful of species and find the idea of eating others disgusting. This is because carnism blocks our awareness and empathy when it comes to the species we have deemed edible.

What do you call a gathering of vegans? ... A buzzkill. This witty observation sprouts from the genius of Doug Abel, co-founder of the Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary. "Recently I was joking around with Dan Piraro about the words used for plurals of animals--a gaggle of geese, a cackle of hyenas, a murder of crows--and I came up with a 'buzzkill' of vegans," he explains.

This punchline will be proved all kinds of wrong this Thursday at Comedy for Karma, the all-star stand-up comedy event to benefit the Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary. The tall "boyish man" Gary Gulman and sidesplittingly self-deprecating Louis C.K. return for their third time, while gritty insomniac Dave Attell makes it for a second round. New this year are two Daily Show celebs, co-creator Lizz Winstead and fake news correspondent Wyatt Cenac. Em-cee will be illustrious funny-man Dan Piraro.

Doug elaborates on his buzzkill coinage:

"I recall a joke from my college days in the late '80s...

Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: That's not funny!!!!

"If written today," Doug says, this joke "would certainly be about vegans. We have a reputation for being militant misanthropic schmucks (because we refuse to eat corpses). Actually, the version I heard just a few years ago was, 'That's worse than a vegan birthday party'--probably a reference as much to the dry, carob-based cakes of a decade ago as the dry, carob-based personalities that vegans are supposed to have."

"But the reality is that lots of vegheads have well-formed funnybones despite their Buzzkill Baselines," he adds. "And in fact the phrase "happy vegan" kicks angry vegan's butt by a factor of 15 on Google!"

You too can join the giant buzzkill of vegans to benefit the animals at the Woodstock sanctuary at NYC's Gotham Comedy Club this Thursday, April 1 (no joke). Tickets always sell out, so it's smart to buy in advance. $50 for general admission and $100 for reserved VIP seats.

Check out this hilarious video of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog interviewing Doug Abel about the event, scooping poop at the sanctuary, and humorless vegans.

When Andy Stepanian and Dara Lovitz gave a talk on SHAC7 and the Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act (AETA) at NYU Law School on Tuesday, most of the audience came half-expecting to hear a legal seminar (Lovitz is the author of Muzzling a Movement). Almost no one expected to laugh or cry with inspiration before the talk ended, although almost everyone did. (We interviewed Andy before this event.)

This was not a speech or a classroom teaching. Dara spoke so candidly about the absurdities of animal enterprise terrorism laws that even the law students had to start laughing with her. Andy spoke so painfully earnestly to everyone that few had dry eyes by the end of the talk. No one walked away depressed, though, as the duo were determined to show everyone exactly how much potential we all have to effect positive change, despite how much money and effort the animal enterprises dump into making us feel powerless and small.

Dara, the lawyer, spoke first. And the takeaway of her talk wasn't "the history and overview of AETA," but rather just how impressively unconstitutional the AETA is, and how it managed to be drafted anyway. She explained very frankly how a series of unconscionably illegal laws culminating in AETA were pulled over everyone's eyes through passionately written passages. Passages about how animal activists victimize dying people who can only get a cure through animal testing. Passages that literally say that we owe so much of our lives to the selfless people in charge of the factory farm industry. And she put us face to face with how so many of our senators and policymakers are CEO's and beneficiaries of devastating animal enterprises.

Michigan Governor, Jennifer Granholm maliciously attacked meat eaters recently by declaring Saturday, March 20, 2010 Michigan MeatOut Day. Inviting meat eaters to give up meat for (practical reasons mind you) one day out of the year is obviously asking too much.

Don’t take my word for it, let’s hear from the victims:

The Michigan Farm Bureau blasted the proclamation as "unconscionable and an insensitive slap in the face" to livestock farmers and meat-eating residents.[R]

It's inconceivable to us that the governor could stoop to this level of telling people what they should and shouldn't eat based on the philosophies of 'food elitists,' ” said Farm Bureau President Wayne Wood [R]

Her action is blatantly degrading to Michigan consumers and farmers, and is destructive to Michigan’s entire $71.3 billion agriculture industry,” [R]

"This is like telling people not to buy Fords or Chevys that are made here in Michigan," said Sen. Ron Jelinek, R-Three Oaks. [R]

The Michigan United Conservation Club has even issued their own proclamation urging Michigan residents to eat meat March 20th and "all dates going forward" [R]

According to Michigan Out of Doors Magazine March 20. Eat Meat. Love it. Live it. Refuse to let anyone tell us that we're wrong. Because we're not. Period." [R]

And. If that wasn't enough proof. Have a look at the Michigan Meat Eaters Facebook Page.

Is inviting Michigan meat eaters to give up meat for one day out of the year asking too much? Apparently so - The Audacity of Nope!

An update on the current Antarctic campaign, from Sea Shepherd crew member Andrea Gordon.

This message was transmitted to New York from the Bob Barker vessel via satellite.


So lots went on here yesterday - everything has been a really intense emotional rollercoaster. In the morning, we were told the campaign was over and we had to go back to port. I took the news really hard. Every day we were with the Nisshin Maru, I was just so happy knowing the whales were protected and safe. We had such an amazing and successful campaign, but going back to port knowing the whalers were still down here with the whales isn't easy. I didn't have much time to dwell on it though, because 30 minutes after that, we saw the Yushin Maru #3 on the horizon. We hadn't seen that ship since it rammed us at the beginning of the month. Everyone jumped back into gear, we sent the small boat after the Yushin, packed with butyric acid, paint, and some angry Sea Shepherds ;) The small boat chased the Yushin through the ice at 15 knots, and the Yushin just slammed into a lot of the ice, risking damaging their ship to get away from our boat.

State Senate majority leader Dean Florez introduced a bill today that would require California animal abusers to list themselves in a registry, as is currently done with sex offenders and arsonists. Yay, public shaming of horrible, deliberately perpetrated atrocities!

According to the Animal League Defense Fund, who is supporting the registry effort with its new campaign, www.ExposeAnimalAbusers.org, the bill would include "violence (torture, mutilation, intentional killings, etc.), sexual abuse, and animal fighting as well as neglect (such as hoarding)."

"We operate shelters in the hopes of giving abandoned pets a second chance at a loving home, not subjecting them to lives of continued abuse and neglect," Florez, a Democrat and chairman of the Food and Agriculture Committee, said in a press conference this morning. "A registry of abusers would help ensure animals are not being adopted out to convicted abusers, end the cycle of abuse and increase the likelihood of finding these pets the forever home they deserve."

You can sign the petition to ask that your state force animal abusers to register.

Read more in the New York Times and watch Florez's press conference announcement below.