Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead opened to a nearly sold out theater this weekend in NYC, despite drama with the Tribeca Film Festival. The Troma produced film is billed as "cinema's first chicken-zombie horror-comedy…with musical numbers!"

Here's a supershort synopsis: A KFC-like fast food joint opens up on an ancient Native American burial ground. A group of college lesbian animal rights activists protest the restaurant, but fail to close it before zombie chickens hatch and reap bloody revenge on everyone in sight, including D-list porn star turned PETA activist Ron Jeremy.

The Feline Rescue Alliance of Williamsburg (FeRAW) is holding a cat fight adoption event soon, in the empty lot near Foodswings restaurant at Grand and Roebling. (The event was originally scheduled for today, but is being rescheduled because it was accidentally double-booked with an Alley Cat bike race.)

Like most shelters, FeRAW has more animals than they can find homes for, and inevitably some cats must be euthanized. The idea behind the event is to pair cats in one-on-one fights in a chicken-wire enclosed ring. Priority for adoption will be given to the winners. As it's the first time the event has occurred, scheduling is difficult to predict; thus there's a possibility of a battle royale finale so that all cats have a chance to participate. The shelter will hold off spaying and neutering cats until after they've fought, as altering makes them less aggressive. FeRAW spokesperson Bevin Cass-Campbell stated "Williamsburg and Bushwick are home to huge numbers of wandering, disheveled, dirty creatures with mangy hair. We're hoping more of them can be encouraged to adopt stray cats."

There will of course be gambling on the fights (and completely legal, as FeRAW is a charity). A cut of the money will go to FeRAW. "Operating expenses are hard to come by. We can't all support ourselves via prostitution rings like PETA does," said Cass-Campbell. Foodswings will be selling snacks at the event and has applied for a special-event beer license for the day. "Honestly I can't imagine a better reason to party, or a better way to help local animals," says FoodSwings's Freedom Tripodi. I agree that this is a wonderful and creative way to raise awareness and find homes for the homeless. We'll keep you posted on details.

In a speech this afternoon in Altoona, Pennsylvania, Senator Barack Obama made a groundbreaking announcement:

I have long been an advocate of the less fortunate among us, of those who life has handed a crooked deck, the short end of the stick, an unfair deal. There are no Americans for who this is more true than the populations of our feedlots and industrial farms. It is time to end the exploitation of farmed animals on American soil. It is time to give up hamburgers as we have given up slave-holding. It is time for us to end our dependence on milkshakes as we must end our dependence on foreign oil. It is time to acknowledge that the fishing industry does damage to our oceans far beyond that of emissions from our coal burning power plants. I invite all Americans to join me in a bright future free of cruelty and exploitation, free of the blood of innocents killed only for our pleasure.

While details of his animal liberation agenda were vague, he obviously doesn't lack conviction. When questioned directly by a reporter after the speech, Obama stated "Yes, I am now a vegan. From a personal perspective, it doesn't hurt that people of African descent are invariably lactose intolerant."

Longtime vegan and perennial presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich was supportive, saying "It's wonderful to see a young politician like Barack taking a stand on such an important, under-discussed issue." Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean was less enthusiastic: "While we support Mr. Obama's right to stand up for his principles, this decision takes him so far away from mainstream American belief that it's difficult to regard his candidacy as viable. The corn and soy lobby think they've pulled off a coup here, but he's just lost his Super Delegates." (It's worth noting that the Vermont dairy lobby is especially strong.)

Personally, I'm torn. I'm thrilled that Obama's gone vegan, but I can't help wishing he'd won the presidency first. The only way this won't hurt his campaign is if Hillary Clinton declares herself an atheist and John McCain comes out as gay.

I thought I was making a big effort because I'm baking the Triple Threat Chocolate "Cheese" Cake from My Sweet Vegan for my cousin's birthday (review TK). Well, when it comes to cake, "effort" has just been redefined.

Someone on the Post Punk Kitchen message boards wanted to do something special for her boyfriend, who's a huge David Lynch fan, so she put it out to the forum: How should I decorate his vegan birthday cake? How about a Blue Velvet cake with severed ear on top? Van Gogh would be so proud.

Meanwhile, my birthday's next week, and I don't expect anything remotely as artistic. Anyway, what would it look like given that one of my all-time favorite movies is Harold and Maude? Have you ever baked anything this creative? We'd love to see pictures!

By this point, everybody’s seen the video of downer cows being abused by Hallmark/Westland Meat Packing employees. And everyone’s read about the massive beef recall that the HSUS video prompted. The upshot is that nonveg*ns everywhere are finally getting to see what we already knew happens to scores of animals in this country every day.

Well, if any of your omni friends won’t watch the video because it’s too depressing, they have another option: Doreen the Downer by animator Mark Fiore. It does for beef production what The Meatrix did for factory farming, except it’s short and whimsical, like so many of those misguided “educational” videos from the ’50s and ’60s.

What happens when a broiler-chick-to-be escapes his fate and witnesses what could have been? He grows up to be a pimp and returns to “MFC” headquarters to exact his revenge on a Colonel Sanders look-alike, of course!

Well, that’s what happens according to Moby, anyway. When he released the “Disco Lies” video on Feb. 14, he wrote, “Nothing says ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ like the ‘Disco Lies’ video, involving pimp chickens, cowboy bodyguards, strippers, and the head of an international chicken franchise being chased through the streets of Mexico City.”



Uh, yeah, right. I guess that’s better than naming a dairy cow after your girlfriend.

Anyway, the song is really catchy, in a mellow, dancey way, and it’s off the album Last Night, due out April 1. You can download a free sampler here.

By the way, if you’re in L.A., Moby’s band The Little Death is playing at El Cid (4212 Sunset Blvd.) on Friday (doors open at 9; LD goes on at 10:45). Then on Saturday he’s DJing at the Heat Festival at UC Riverside.

The first time around was just too much fun. Here's what some of our vegan brethren are looking for on NYC Craigslist.

• Female nudist (who is also a good cook!) seeks a free room in exchange for hanging around naked and "some light housekeeping."
• 22-year old male Kids in the Hall (and short shorts) fan seeks "skinny pretty down for adventure" female.
• Shameless 26-year old blogger, publicist and food addict plugs his Cobble Hill room for rent on his own blog. And it's not his first time.
• Asian fetishist "seeking to date asian women under 35." Aiya, maybe he should order one at BigBadChineseMama.com and experience some traditional ass-kicking perfected by years of exotic secret Asian history.
• Kirsten, a 19-year old model, "scrumptiously seek[s] to find a man [she] can devour" and have regular hookups with on a long term basis.

Why isn't this stuff in the SuperVegan forum?!?!

Today is International 'Hug a Vegetarian' Day. How exciting--we have our own trendy internet holiday! So go hug a vegetarian (or, even better, a vegan).

Apparently this gimmick comes courtesy of peta2. Personally, I liked International 'Talk Like a Pirate' Day better, but hey, hugs are nice too.

Fresh from defending animal abuser Michael Vick, lawyer Billy Martin has moved on to another animal enemy - Senator Larry Craig, who was a total horror on animal protection issues in Congress. Apparently the Johnnie Cochran-wannabe has a penchant for representing those who are absolutely no friend to animals.

However, there's a side of humor to all of this. Best pun-filled headline and story ever? Postcards from the Pug Bus' Larry Craig Hires Michael Vick’s Lawyer to Beat Cockfighting Charges.

Dear Mom & Dad,

You may have suspected this all along.

The doll of Dipsy from the Teletubbies in my room...the "All This and Vegan Too" sticker on my backpack...that "carrot" shirt. And of course, that craigslist ad you saw on my computer looking for vegan "roommates."

The truth is there's no one I'd like to make tofu scramble more with in the mornings than with another vegan. I'm a friend of Dipsy. I'm a vegansexual.

Dad, I know you must be asking "have you ever tried not being a vegansexual?" Yes, ever since I was just a vegetarian, I've been with animal-munchers. I refuse to live a lie anymore. Though vegans do taste better, it's really not just about sex, dad. Really, there's something awfully sexy about compassion - nothing tickles my g-sprout more than seeing someone rescue an animal, protest cruelty, or filling their shopping baskets with seitan, soymilk, tofu, and veggies.

Mom, I know this must be hard for you - as it is for me. But please understand that it disgusts me when I see someone eating eggs. They are menstrual cycle by-products, mom. Eating them is like licking your pads. And please don't get me started on mammary secretions.

Think of it this way, instead of having just one vegan child, you will have two! Two vegans to enjoy cooking veggies and eating out at veggie restaurants with you, mom!

I know this will take some time and you may have a hard time explaining to everyone that you have a vegansexual child. But I know you must be so happy for me that I am proud and have finally came out of the pantry.

Love & Tofu,

Your Vegansexual Son